Up In The Air

Recently I have been spending more time in airports than my own apartment. Speaking at events, attending conferences, weddings, or visiting family and friends has required me to live a life that I have always wanted. If you have ever spend anytime in a airport you find yourself people watching more than normal. Airports are one of the most emotional places you will ever walk into. Passenger or not, you are either really sad to see someone depart or so excited to see someone arrive. I had just landed in Atlanta and was on my way to baggage when I saw a mom and her three kids waiting for their husband and father. I could see the excitement building in their faces and they were moments away from being reunited with a loved one. Honestly I was excited for them that I had to stay and watch this unfold. The situation looked just like a movie, as soon as one of his kids saw him, they shouted "There's Daddy"!! The husband heard his kids voice, let go of everything in his hands and ran to the people that matter most. After I saw the reunited family walk away, my happiness quickly turned to anger. My flesh got fired up and I end up having a convo with God that looks something like this:

"Ummmmm hey God, remember me? It's Shannon, well just in case you forgot about me..which it feels like you have. I'm guy who you called to give up everything to follow you. Still don't remember me....it's ok, I know your busy ....here is a little refresher, I was the store manager at Abercrombie & Fitch who was just about to get a promotion and woke up one morning and everything I had done in my life meant nothing. There ya go...well I cant help but to remember you telling me that if I followed you, you will give me the desires of my heart. Well I have done everything (well almost) you have asked me to do and still it seems like everyone else is receiving the desires of their hearts except me".

Honestly, I find myself looking more at what God has not given me than what he has and it frustrates me so much that I battle with that. My attitude towards him reminded me of the Parable of the worker in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16) I crumble all the time against the landowner on timing and pay. The truth is that he knows what will satisfy my spirit and the perfect timing in which to give it. I have to be at peace with the fact that I may not see the desires of my heart come true in this life but for sure the next. . Growing up I wanted to be someone important, fly around the world, wear nice clothes, hop around from city to city and when people saw me, they would want what I have. I thought those things would make me feel valued and complete. Last night I feel asleep with the t.v. on woke up this morning to the beginning of the movie "UP In The Air" George Clooney plays a successful executive guy who flies around and thinks he knows what he wants out of life. In the end all the hotel rewards benefits, airport elite access, concierge service and air miles was enough. Sometimes in life God gives us little reminders that help keep things in perspective. He showed me this morning that even though I may not feel like I'm where we should be at 33 that I can know I right were I'm supposed to be at 33. I spent time this morning asking God to forgive me for my lack of trust and timing for HIS will.